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60 SECONDS WITH SENSEI
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Because waking up to a cluttered, disorganized space is a crappy way to start the day.

11/29/2017

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I am a slave to my closet.  It's one spot that consistently gets away from me.  I'll spend an afternoon organizing it, arranging clothes by type and color; only to have it fall apart within a week.  When that happens, everything slows down a bit.  The bedroom becomes an obstacle course and the morning routine is slowed down.  Slowing down that morning routine makes everything stressful, and when there's stress in one parent, the entire family suffers.  So, in a very real way, when I am a slave to my closet, my entire family is held hostage.  I don't like that.  I want to be free from the tyranny of my closet, but to date, I've not been willing to put in the work to keep that thing squared away.  

So, I'm resolving to conquer that thing this week.  By the time I go to bed Friday night, I will be master of that closet for good.  Heck, I'll even post weekly photo updates if you want.  Maybe i won't post them, but I'll take them anyway because it will track the two traits that will free me from the emotional bondage of that closet: discipline and consistency.  One of resources I've been reading through to help me plan my siege of the closet, is Marie Kondo's book:

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To be completely honest, it's not just my closet, but that is the one space that bothers me the most because it's the first thing that I look at in the morning when I get up.  Waking up to a cluttered, disorganized mess is a pretty crappy way to start the day...and I'm just tired of it.

What "that space" in your house?  What seems to always get away from you?  What small, practical steps can you take this week to declare freedom from the tyranny of that space?

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Different Sides of the Same Coin: Tails

11/20/2017

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For years, my mantra of "It's not a big deal until you make it a big deal" was used as a form of corrective thinking; reminding myself to not blow things out of proportion.  It was always said as a way of calming down (myself or someone else) and, to be honest, it wasn't until last week that I began thinking about the other side of the coin, because some problems aren't caused by too much emotion.

Ten years ago I was featured in Men's Health magazine as part of the Belly Off Club.  It was cool to be in that issue, but I wish it were for different reasons.  You see, you don't join the Club unless you had a belly that you got rid of.  I went from being 175lbs in my senior year of high school to 265lbs just a year later.  At my absolute heaviest, I was 345; although putting all of that on a 6'7" frame hid things a bit.  

I knew that I shouldn't be that big, but I clearly didn't care enough to do anything about it.  I still remember when I made it a big deal.  I was playing on the floor with my oldest son who was about 5 at the time.  It was so hard to ooze around on the floor and going from the floor to standing over and over a tough.  I remember looking at Caleb and thinking "Damn, I'm going to die if I don't fix this."  From that moment on, health and fitness have been a big deal. 

We've all got something like that...something that needs to be addressed, to be made a big deal of, but we just keep moving along.  

Stop.

You have to make it a big deal.
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Different Sides of the Same Coin: Heads

11/17/2017

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<---I probably say that a dozen times a week to a dozen different people, and the vast majority of the time it's to encourage someone to chill out.  Truth is, there's not much in this life worth making a big deal out of, but we do it anyway.  That car that cut me off on the way home was totally not a big deal until I made it a big deal with my verbal outburst.  That email from a parent this evening was nothing until I chose to assume their tone and attitude.  We do a great job of blowing things out of proportion don't we?  

There is so much of our lives that we have no control over.  The weather.  The other driver.  The poorly worded email we get at the end of a long day.  We just don't have a lot of power over those things...but we do have some say in our response.  Note, I said response and not reaction.  A reaction is thoughtless while a response takes a certain level of reflection.  How long does it take to move from reaction to response?  Just one deep breath.

There's a reason we tell people who are in a stressful situation to take a deep breath.  Besides the physical benefits of a deep breath, it also buys us a bit of time to think through our response.  Was that driver intentionally being a jerk, or did they need to head to an emergency?  Was that parent's tone one of arrogance, or fearful love for their kids?  Taking a deep breath almost always allows us to give the benefit of the doubt and make the kind response.  With that breath, you claim control over your flighty (often self-serving) emotions.  Don't make it a big deal...just take a breath.  Respond, don't react.

​Osu!

2 Comments

The NEED for a push.

11/3/2017

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Completing the Phoenix 50 in July 2016 was one of the greatest accomplishments.  The training in leading up to the event pushed me to new limits one a weekly basis.  The actual event...may have pushed me a little too far.  After all, I did end up in the hospital with rhabdo and acute renal failure.

Do I regret it?  Not in the slightest.  Would I do it again? Maybe.  Why?!  Well, for starters, I know more about myself having gone through that experience.  Most importantly, I know where my limit is, or was, and can move on to set other goals.

From a training perspective, pushing yourself is the great risk vs. reward battle.  To have or experience a great reward involves taking certain risks...but taking those risks does not necessarily mean you'll reap those reward.  No risk, no reward.  Yes risk, maybe reward.  That's the battle we fight...is the potential reward work the risk?  Is working on the makiwara, with the risk of breaking my hand worth the risk in order to strengthen my hand.  Is doing a million burpees worth the risk of injury for a reward of improving muscular and cardiovascular endurance?  Those are relatively easy battles nowadays.

The more difficult battles, where I almost always need to push a step too far, are relationally.  Those battles often require that I continue a conversation one question more, or adding one more comment.  The risk?  You come off as a pushy jerk.  The potential reward?  You come off as someone who genuinely cares...and THAT is so needed by so many.  Another risk is that by pushing one question more, you may offend someone.  To that I'd say that's it's better to offend a friend or coworker and make them think about their actions and behavior than it is to say nothing, and let them continue without observation.  Shoot, sometimes just asking that first question might feel like a step too far. 

In either situation, relationships or training, I don't recommend pushing yourself too far every single time.  There's a wisdom and discernment that goes with knowing when to push and when to relax.  My observation though is that we generally don't want to push a little too far because we're either afraid of the risk or don't want to step out of our comfort zone.  

You'll never know how far you can go until you go a little too far.  You'll never know what you can make of the world, or your relationships, or yourself, unless you push past what you think are your limits.

From a training perspective, try this.  Do pushups.  How many?  Do ALL of them.  Do pushups until your arms and chest muscles fail.  Then, take a break and do two more.  Pushing yourself physically has a direct impact on your courage to push relationally.  Find something...do something that pushes you past your preconceived limits this weekend.  Be safe:-)

​Osu!


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Your time is your most valuable investment.

11/2/2017

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Isn’t it funny how we say that some days are longer when, in fact, they’re all technically the same length?  I swear, Tuesday just seemed like it was about 36 hours long.  On the drive home, which mind you was only 4:30, I could barely keep my eyes open.
 
The last thing that I wanted to do was walk around in the dark while my son (the youngest of the “older three”) went trick or treating.  I was tired.  It was cold.  I felt like I deserved the evening off.  I wanted to be home for the start of the World Series game.  The excuses continue, and they only get more lame and lazy. 
 
Then it hit me like a dump truck.  It’s only a matter of time before all of my boys are grown and out of the house.  As they get older, it becomes more difficult to find one-on-one times with each of them.  Immediately, my thinking changed about trick or treating last night.  That time walking around in the cold and dark instantly transformed into a special two-hour experience that I got to share with one of my boys.  He got all of my attention, and I got all of his.  Those times are precious.
 
Older parents are constantly warning younger parents not to blink, because the time goes by quickly.  There’s a consistent refrain of “You’ll miss ______________________ when it’s over.”  Whether that blank is filled with changing diapers, Little League games, learning the recorder, or tearful talks with a teenager; I’m pretty sure we won’t look back and wish we had more time sitting alone, on our butts. 
 
Just an encouragement to invest in those around you today.  Remember, that we’re not guaranteed another hour…
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    Author

    Sensei Bob:
    Head Instructor of The Forge, LLC
    4th Dan-Kyokushin Karate, Kyokushinkan Branch Chief
    School Teacher with 20 years of experience
    Husband
    Dad
    All around swell guy

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